40 Things I've Learned In 40 Years
What I learned about love, purpose, kindness, parenting, and simplicity...
Thus far, I've lived a rich and fulfilling life; a life that I am super grateful for. Along the way, I collected many treasures. Let's unravel some of the most powerful lessons I've learned in 40 years.
When you love yourself unconditionally; when you protect the peace of your mind and preserve your sanity; when you define and guard your boundaries - you teach others how to treat you.
Your present is too precious to be soiled by the muck of the past.
There are no problems in life; only perspectives!
Being strong doesn't mean you never break. Being strong means that even if you break into a million pieces, you still have the courage to pick those pieces up and put them back together.
The secret to happiness is: having less to do with people and more to do with your purpose; turning your attention inwards; never trying to fit in; doing what you love; and moving your body.
Gratitude is the purest form of prayer. Kindness is the highest form of intelligence. Wellness is the best form of wealth. Presence is the simplest form of joy.
Spend time in nature. You will find yourself. You will realize that you are everything that nature is: limitless, beautiful, and divine.
Your thoughts shape your reality. Your beliefs build your life. The choices you make today will determine your future. The power to co-create all of life's experiences rests in you. You are the hub of creation. Everything changes the moment you realize this truth. You stop blaming people and circumstances for your misery, stop seeking validation, and stop craving attention. You begin to live differently - drawing strength, hope, wisdom, and power from the infinite Source that lives within you. You finally know that the miracle, the divine spark you've been waiting for is you. That is when you are truly born.
Choose to be happy on purpose. Do the things that fill you up with joy. Smell the roses, plant some saplings, write a journal, take pictures, sing, dance, create, paint, read, meditate... find magic in the simplest joys of life. Pause and notice how pristine this present moment is. Place your hand on your heart and say "I am a masterpiece!", "I love myself", "I am worthy". Feel the rhythm of your breath and be grateful for every experience you've had so far. All your experiences brought you where you are today. So thank the higher wisdom and trust your journey. Look up at the stars and remember, you are made of stardust! Hug majestic trees, watch the birds and listen to their songs, gaze at distant horizons. Experience oneness. Do the things that make you smile. Create your own bliss! Because life is what you make it.
Start your day with prayer. End your day with gratitude.
Stop hurting your heart for people who never loved you with the same intensity and integrity as yours. Stop seeking validation from those who never knew your worth. Repetitive behaviours and patters speak clearly and loudly about someone's intentions. Stop giving the benefit of doubt to those who have let you down more than once. First time might have been unintentional. Second time, was a choice.
Live a simple life. Live mindfully; with awareness. Experience silence. Sometimes, it's okay to drop that to-do list and simply be. Breathe... and notice.
Wonder often! Question more. Yet, be content with not knowing all the answers.
Create something beautiful, every day. Music, poetry, or painting would be great, but your smile, a compliment, or a kiss are just as good :) maybe even better!
With privacy, the good things in life become precious. Share your joys and woes with caution. Have boundaries and let them be known.
The secret to a happy marriage is selfless support, a great sense of humour, midnight conversations, active listening, good food, respect, alignment, and of course love - love that never fades and forever cares. Marriage can sometimes be hard, messy, and loud. Yet, it's not the discord, but the intensity of accord that matters. It's about how you make up after the storm has passed. The secret sauce is to remember: we are in the same team, after all.
You may be as gifted as Mozart, but if you shelve your dreams and never show up, your gifts will remain hidden in that old trunk from vintage times - biting the dust and wallowing in regret. There is nothing more painful than allowing your talents to wilt without ever realizing your full potential.
The formula for success is simple. Clarity + Courage + Commitment + Consistency. Have specific and clear goals. Slice them into small, manageable steps. Do at least one thing in the direction of your dreams, every single day. Small steps lead to big results. Stay focussed. You will never feel fully prepared - show up, anyway. Perfection is an illusion and comparison is meaningless. Enjoy the process. Remember, your dreams become your destiny, when your plans become your actions.
Discipline is key. Routine matters. Persistence pays.
You may be too naive for some. Too self-centered for others. Too bold, too meek, too witty, too smart, too strong, too sensitive... the list is endless. But you know what? That is okay. You are not here to fit into someone else's definition of worthy. Do not allow others to define you. Retain your peace of mind by refusing to respond to rude, judgemental, or prying people. They won't understand anyway! Just do your thing, with panache.
Keep your conversations simple and straightforward - no twisted talk, no gossip, no unwarranted criticism. This is the best way to preserve your energy and reputation.
Read. Read. Read. There is nothing more enriching, nothing more powerful, nothing more intriguing than the many worlds that thrive in the pages of a book. Soak up the gap between words. That is where wisdom lives.
When in doubt, look up. When in despair, look within.
No expectations. Only experiences.
Be like a river. Flow effortlessly, trust your journey, embrace every terrain (rough or smooth), exude power and grace, let go, keep moving, follow new vistas, stay soft yet fierce, cut through the rocks, have depth of character, and no matter how strong the currents on the surface look, keep calm like the ground beneath. Merge and you will experience oneness with all that ever was, is, and will be.
Do not judge people. You never know what someone is going through. You know nothing about their journey.
Cherish more. Chase less.
Nothing is tastier than home made, ginger infused, fresh orange juice!
If you are going through darkness and pain, simply keep going... because darkness isn't a good place to stop, is it? The only way out of pain is through it. You know what's beautiful though? Impermanence. Nothing is permanent and change is constant. Life continues to flow. It unfolds in patterns and phases - just like the moon, the seasons, the waves. All the phases, all the ebbs and flows are significant. So appreciate how far you have come and get excited for where you are going. Remember, the only way out is through.
Invest in yourself - practice meditation, go outside, stay hydrated, get your greens, find a mentor, pursue a hobby, visit your local library, learn a new skill, spend money on experiences, adopt a puppy, and travel more.
Never give unsolicited advice. Do not try to change or control other people. You will fail miserably.
Have compassion and respect for all life forms. Do not hurt anything that has a mother, a heart, a soul and eyes.
Each night, ask yourself - "What did I learn today?" and, "How can I be better tomorrow?"
Master the art of having meaningful and authentic conversations. Most people talk at superficial levels. Deep and meaningful conversations require: presence, connection, understanding, and silence. Listen intentionally when someone talks - be genuinely interested in people. Listen to understand. The most precious gift you can give someone is the gift of your presence. When someone talks, be fully present. Engage. Don't fiddle with your phone. Don't twiddle around. Instead, offer your undiluted attention. Make eye contact. We all crave connection. We all want to be heard, seen, and respected. Offer respect generously. You will be surprised at how it multiplies manifold and pleasantly boomerangs. Try to understand people on a deeper level - their pain, their regrets, their hurts, their insecurities. When you become whole heartedly interested in people, you will notice that we are all little children inside! We all want to play; we all want appreciation; we all want true friends; we all want to be understood. But we are too bogged down by the demands of this world. Deep down, we are all still innocent. This understanding ushers in kindness and empathy. It nurtures relationships. We begin using tender words and gentle tones. Oh! and let's not forget the power of taking a pause. Pause for a moment. Pause, before you leap on to your next statement, argument, or opinion. Breathe. Sometimes, silence is more beautiful than the prettiest of words. Our world needs more of this.
Take care of yourself. Take care of your mind, heart, body, and soul. Read to keep your mind intrigued and inspired. Practice kindness, for it delights the heart. Move your body - stretch, play, dance, or jog each day. Slow down and let your soul become witness to every magical moment that unfolds.
Declutter your home. A clean space has a calming effect on the senses. It brings in more clarity, focus, and comfort. Look around! Your external space is a reflection of how you feel on the inside. Inversely, when you cleanse and clear your environment, you invite more harmony and peace into your heart. Try re-arranging and decluttering your space. Get rid of too much stuff and create openness - almost instantaneously, you will feel re-invigorated.
Walk barefoot on earth. Re-kindle your connection with the ground beneath your feet. Walk on grass, sand, or soil. Grounding has many wonderful benefits - both for the mind and the body. As your feet absorb free ions from the surface of the earth, your body is healed. Grounding reduces inflammation, improves sleep, enhances posture, enlivens senses, boosts immunity, improves brain activity, soothes the heart, and maintains blood pressure.
One of the most important things you will do in your life is parenting. Your words and actions will have an indelible impact on your children, and the many generations to come. Every trauma, every exhilaration, every belief, and every wound is passed on to posterity. Be conscious. Be kind. Be mindful of what you give and create. There is nothing called too much love. The only rule is to never hurt (oneself or another). The only regret is not trying.
The purpose of human life is to realize, tap into, and celebrate the divine within.
Remember, you always have a choice. Always! And that is your greatest power.
