People who do not know your value are not qualified to determine your worth.
Why belittle yourself when you can be bold, beautiful, and brave? Why doubt yourself when you can hold your head high and walk by faith? Why sabotage your growth with fear when you can build yourself up with love?
In the winter of 2021, I was going through a major life change. Changes as you know, can be messy. My life was no different. I was shifting gears in my career, moving cities, and was going through a rather transformative time, personally. It was mishmash of chaos, excitement, vulnerability, and burn out. I was working hard and accomplishing big things in life - something to be proud of and celebrated; but I wasn't able to savour my success. I wasn't even seeing it! Instead, I was feeling fragile - the total opposite of proud, strong and resilient. You know what the biggest reason was? Why was I not able to rejoice my success? Why was I unable to see my self worth? I was surrounded by toxic people; and the thing with toxicity is, it just bleeds you dead! It saps your energy, latches on to your soul, and makes you utterly miserable and hopeless. The worst part is that it makes you forget your self worth. When you are surrounded by unkind, unpleasant, unprofessional, and unpolished toxic people, life is tough (and that is an understatement). These are the kind of people who constantly judge you from their own lens of insecurity; constantly gratifying their need for control. They will offer criticism that is uncalled for; they will bully you and make you feel less; they will make you feel unworthy, because that is the only way they can control you. That is the only way for them to feed their ego. They make you feel less so they can have power over you.
Your job is to be very very careful around these kind of people, because they will condemn you so much that at some point you will start believing them! Now that poses the biggest peril. It's the most dangerous situation to be in, because you are now beginning to believe their negative point of view. You are now beginning to forget who you really are! You begin playing small, diluting yourself, fading away somewhere in the background. You forget to show up for who you are. You forget to stand up for yourself. Do NOT let that happen. When a plant doesn't grow or flowers don't bloom, you don't blame the plant, because you know, it's the environment. Maybe the plant didn't get enough sunshine or water or nurturing. So, if you are feeling unworthy - look around, look carefully, look at your environment. Who are you surrounded by. Are these people lifting you up or tearing you down? Are they boosting your morale or just feeding their ego?
People who do not know your value (or refuse to see it) are not qualified to determine your worth. So, here's your reminder: engrave this message on your heart; encrust it on your mind. You are worthy. Never compromise your dignity and dreams. Hold your head high and follow your heart. Embrace your journey, even if it means walking alone. You are worthy. No matter what phase you are in.
You are worthy.
Despite your flaws, mistakes, and failures.
You are worthy.
Do not give away your power. Do not let others measure your value based on their biased opinions and myopic agendas.
Your biggest power is the power to choose. You can choose to hear the noise that comes from your detractors and believe that you're not good enough OR you can choose to listen to your inner voice, your heart and believe that you are worthy and powerful and beautiful. You can choose hurt or healing. You can beat yourself down or build yourself up. You can choose fragility or strength. It will take the same amount of energy! So my question is, what will you choose?
Why belittle yourself when you can be bold, beautiful, and brave?
Why doubt yourself when you can hold your head high and walk by faith?
Why sabotage your growth with fear when you can build yourself up with love?
I'm here to remind you that you deserve love, kindness, encouragement, and support. I'm here to remind you that it isn't selfish to love yourself, its necessary.
My own experiences have taught me that self-love is divine. So I choose to love myself absolutely, unconditionally, and unapologetically. Each morning as I wake up, I remind myself that the only person responsible for the quality of my life is me; the only person responsible for preserving my sanity and peace is me. These simple affirmations help me take charge of my thoughts, beliefs, karma, and destiny. I have stopped draining my energy trying to convince people or prove my worth.
I may be too naive for some. Too self-centered for others. Too bold, too meek, too witty, too smart, too strong, too sensitive... the list is endless.
But you know what? That is perfectly okay. I'm not here to fit into someone else's definition of "worthy". If I allow others to define me, I would feel restricted, trampled and suffocated. I'd be dying under the weight of judgements. I do not succumb to the reckless and unsympathetic blows of other people's opinions anymore - I have opted out of external validation! My anchor is within.
You see, I'm not very worldly wise. I'm only trying to be inwardly wise.
I have come a long way and realized that my worth is non-negotiable.
Letting go of others' opinions, creating boundaries, banishing toxic people, and practising self-love have been the most liberating experiences of my life. My wish and prayer for you is the same - I hope you find your inner anchor, recognize your worth, and build your life around love and peace.